so what do you do if youve fallen for someone, told them, didnt freak out and continues to be a friend? shes going away for a few months, and i wish i could be with her. i would go on her trip with her if it was that simple...she was worried that if i had decided to go, that she would have to deal with the stress of having to "take care" of me as i wouldnt have been as prepared. im mostly worried for her as shes hiking 2600 miles ALONE. i hope that i will be able to see her again, especially since she has said she might not be back in portland. god, im crazy for her, and her not returning the feelings only makes it worse. its all i can do to hold back my desperation from her, though it kinda makes me depressed...but a different kind than the other depression i have problems with. its interesting...sort of. obviously, i write this in an effort to alleviate myself of these feelings, as i usually feel much better after i unload.
-i love you and hope one day you feel the same-
